I want to have your abortion
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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