He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
