remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
