is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
