I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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