I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
