who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
