i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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