I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
