i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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