and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
