I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
