she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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