I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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