Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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