For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
