Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
