check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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