At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
