What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
