Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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