Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
