Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
