why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
