fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
