I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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