im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Enjoy the penises
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
