try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
