just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
