office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
