I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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