"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
