There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
