there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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