Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
