im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
