My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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