Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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