I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
