There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
