Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
