you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
