So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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