i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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