Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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