I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
