is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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