After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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