Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
