Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
