Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
