you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
