is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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