thus making me awesome and them whores
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
