I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this beer tastes like vomit already
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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