did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
