i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize