She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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