Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
