I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
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Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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