This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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