O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
