i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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