who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
that is very illegal...i love you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
