so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
it glows. i had to have it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
