Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
