they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
