walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
