i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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