Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
